ECT seems to have stopped working. I feel like I a slipping back down into this deep pit of depression worse than I have been since I was a teenager being tormented and bullied in school. Just today I slept from 10pm to 5am, then got up watched some shows, talked to my boyfriend and went back to sleep from 7:30am till 3:30pm. I would have probably slept longer if my alarm hadn't gone off telling me to take my thyroid meds at that point. That is a marathon sleep, and something I haven't done in quite a while. I have had to take a small break from ECT and not go to my scheduled appt Monday since there was a schedule conflict with my ride...so I am not sure if the gap from my last treatment on Friday until my next tomorrow Wednesday could be what is making me feel so depressed or if maybe its just not working. They may up the voltage this time and that scares me, since already I am having problems placing peoples faces and remembering things like episodes of TV shows, doc appt times and a bunch of other small but annoying things. It is the singular oddest sensation to see someone post something on Facebook and not remember where you know them from. You know you added them as a friend so you must know them, but its like your brain is a file cabinet and the smallest (people you haven't known long) files fall through the cracks and you cannot find them no matter how you search and search. I mean how do you approach someone and say "Hey, I am having electroshock therapy and I seem to have forgotten you...who are you?". They aren't complete strangers though, since even if I can't place them or identify them, I still feel that little niggle of recognition in the back of my mind. Its like a slippery clue I can't seem to grab no matter how I dig, I try and concentrate on that feeling to somehow bring it to the surface but it evades me.
